sentences starting with e

on carrying around a suitcase filled with nothing

Ever since I left paris and then london and then amsterdam I’ve been wheeling around this big suitcase and I don’t know where to leave it. Empty inside, but ever so heavy. Every train I catch, big strong men like to offer to place it on the shelf for me, ever so kindly. 

Early in the mornings, delirious, sometimes I leave it in places I shouldn’t and I loaf about with an unwarranted freedom and weightlessness I don’t deserve. Everytime this happens I have to run back and remember this is my burden to carry.

Everywhere I go I watch people walk around, suitcaseless, unfettered and free. Envy leaks from my eyes and I let it trickle down, salting my lips. End points don’t arrive. Energy saps. Embroidered in the linings of my suitcase and my soul are your initials. Endings are beginnings too. Endings can be the reason I come back. 

Embrace this, everyone tells you. Embrace what? Eloquence is for phonies, all I want to do is scream. Enticing as it is, the idea of growing a brand new girl from this pain, I still want you to know me better than anyone. Every time I try to count to ten I usually make it to six, today I made it to seven before you fogged my mind again. 

Embryonic friendship is a stage I never anticipated. Everytime I see you, you have new wings. Each new day I feel you fly further away. Echoes of what once was keep me grounded, but I still feel my feet sink into the mud I wheel my burden through.

Each new day a new epiphany, I think you’re having them too. Epiphanies are a fun way to make sense of all this new. Elergys are in order, I guess – I need to make sense of a way to experience this without you. 

Extinguishing it all is something I could never do. Even if I’m stuck in the mud, I’d rather dredge through than leave it somewhere and forget it all. Empty suitcase you promise me something is worth carrying. Even if my hands are red and blistered and always tired.

Enormous and overwhelming. Expansive and everflowing. Eat less, eat more. Embarrassing encrypted messages that will never reach. Extraterrestrial hopelessness clouds everything, even on the sunny days when I’m out walking nowhere. Ending up in front of new doors, to no avail, always entrance denied – its this suitcase, always this damn suitcase.